Dub-Step and Dance, outrageous outfits, horrific hairstyles and of course...healthy flavoured milk; It’s been another unforgettable Party!
I am a style-conscious music aficionado seeking a weekend of sweltering heat, hedonism and hell-raising. On July 2nd 2011 I became the proud owner of one of the hottest tickets in town; an exclusive backstage guest-pass to the Wireless festival; a whirlwind of sun-seeking revellers, uber-cool outfits, tanned and tattooed torsos, risqué performances (and even riskier hairstyles) and a mouth-watering line-up of the crème de la crème in R & B, indie, dub-step and dance.
I was the fly on the wall bringing you an exclusive sneak peek at the backstage drama, behind-the-scenes gossip and the antics of sambuka-soaked performers and revellers of Hyde Park.
For the ultra-cool and sophisticated reveller, a 25-ton military truck had been converted into a sleek and sultry sub-zero Jager ice-bar and a secluded Beauty and the Beats zone was transforming grime into glamour with a series of jaw-dropping makeovers. Superdrug and Remington were on-hand to provide some urgently-needed “style tutorials” for fashion-challenged music-lovers. A stream of bedraggled festival-goers, were churned out of the Remington Style Bar (a sort of magic celebrity-manufacturing machine) sporting weird and wonderful hairstyles, mirroring the celebrity trends of the moment.
But a new attraction hailing from the Emerald Isle was creating a stir among the sophisticated, health-conscious Hyde Park hedonist. A white banner promising a blend of smooth and exotic flavours aimed at a more fashion-conscious milk-drinker, “with love from Ireland”, was soon drawing in troupes of young women and their curious male companions. Festival-goers could be seen posing for photographs with a Taste of Summer competition and sampling the range of silky-smooth milk flavours, from a summery strawberry to a sultry chocolate. The healthy message was gradually wafting out into the festival atmosphere and produced the bizarre scene of drunken revellers with a cup of Wagner’s Golden Draught in one hand, and a cup of fibre-rich, low-fat milk in the other!
Tired festival-goers could be seen taking a break from their grass-stained towels, and relaxing on rather luxurious cow bean-bags, at the foot of the Modern Milk Bar, merging fashion, glamour and a non-alcoholic milk drink into one, as only the Irish can.
There was a distinctly bohemian vibe oozing from the rhythmically pulsating sea of straw hats, gravity-defying hair-styles, denim hot-pants and sandals this year. Elite Model London’s talent scouts were spoilt for choice as parades of toned, tanned and flamboyant young women swayed and glistened in the festive heat.
The more attentive celebrity-spotters with guest passes, may even have caught sight of Prince Wills mingling with the more chilled and stylised crowds in the Guest Area, avoiding the more highly-charged crowds thronging the Main Stage, where the performances were rapidly setting temperatures soaring. Keisha’s ultra-risque performance was characteristically close-to-the-bone; the aspiring rock and roll bad girl took to the stage in blue lipstick, ripped stockings and a Stars and Stripes top (clearly chosen to reveal rather than conceal), chomped on a mock human leg while singing Cannibal, contorted her serpentine hips into some weird and wonderful (and daring) dance moves, was drowned in glitter by semi-clad dancers and then drenched in fake blood; a performance which was something of an unholy fusion between the Satanic Sluts, Courtney Love (at her worst), Christina Aguilera in Dirty, and Lady Gaga in one of her more tasteless moods!
Chase and Status, silhouetted against the setting sun, injected a dose of hyperactive aggression into the festival mood, transforming the heaving hedonists into an explosion of colour, sound and rhythm, as flashy festival-goers were hoisted atop shoulders, the crowd rose and surged to an adrenaline-fuelled performance of their greatest party-shakers.
Mike Skinner, leading the Saturday line-up, launched into a characteristically grimy performance; standing astride the Main Stage speakers, he had the swaying masses in the palm of his hand, screaming “Don’t move from this spot” before ripping through a host of the street classics that left such an indelible mark on the London urban scene, and then ripping off his shirt to reveal a freshly-ripped physique to the delight of a swooning army of female festival-goers.
A sprightly Grace Jones later provided some unintentional hilarity, rolling back the years and pulling some unholy shapes, as the 63-year-old hula-hooped across stage, with an athleticism that would put many of the vibrant youth to shame.
The stage costumes ranged from sophisticated to shocking. Competing with Jarvis Cocker’s obligatory over-sized rimmed glasses and tie, and Keisha’s shredded, gore-soaked attire, Chromeo opted for the sleek and smooth black leather-jacket and Katy B looked resplendent in a flowing dress. The on-stage antics continued to match the costumes for shock value; during Chromeo’s act the stage was invaded with a rather larger-than-life inflatable penis, giving the impression the Main Stage had been turned into a hen party in Brighton.
The festival even featured its own bona fide geek-spot; a Nintendisco, enveloping party-goers in something of a gaming time-warp, with live fully-3D multi-player battles in a Surround Sound tent throbbing to the crash and clang of old classic Ninety soundtracks; possibly one to avoid for the female festival-goers.
It was hard to pick a highlight; from Katy B’s hairstyle, to Grace Jones’s heroic hula-hooping efforts, from on-stage cannibalism, to crowd-surfing hens, it’s been another quiet festival in Hyde Park.
Let’s hope they can go really wild next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment